Just pray for the best

So I went….

Italy I say to my family and friends. Hmmm.. Eyebrows raised in knowing admiration, jealously or confusion. “Really, Krys you are going again? You just got back, we just got you back.” We aren’t going to have another going away party are we? Asks my mom.  I tilt my head back and laugh no, no it’s only for six months. I have to spread my winds and follow my heart because for a split second I stopped doing that and became a woman I didn’t recognize naked in the mirror. I quietly vowed never to stop following my dreams nor let one person effect my being ever again. I packed my suitcase fast; I had already been here before. It feels familiar. My friends come over to say goodbyes again, I make my famous sangria and fold colored scarf’s and put them in my suitcase. We giggle, cry and make more sangria. All of my best friends come to see me off on my last night in America, even the Americao is there.

“His” name comes up and everyone agrees that I look healthier and happier. I hate goodbyes but I know the future holds a learning experience that I truly am uncertain of.

I am going to live with a family in Italy. I will teach them English and be an au pair figure to their one child. I have not met them and have only spoken to the mother online and through emails. They live in southern Italy, close to the capital city of Palermo in Sicily. That is all of the information I had.

My flight is a red eye to London. I wake up that morning nervous, excited and wondering if this is the right decision for me. I question everything in my life thus far; I was born under the sign of the Sagittarius and am very good at asking the question “why.” I am true to my sign and ponder if my traveling itch will ever end or if I will just keep going. I decide I can’t conform to society’s expectations of what I should or shouldn’t be doing.

I put on my backpack and get into the car, dejavu one more time only this time it’s different. I am single and this is Italy, not Korea. A friendship ring on my left ring finger replaces the large carat diamond engagement ring. I hold that finger and move forward, and exhale deeply.

I arrive at the airport and my travel instincts kick in immediately. Passport, check, money hidden, aware of the people around you, butterflies in my tummy and yes of course a smile on my face.

I greet with my first great lover, the airport.

I arrive in London a few hours later and am surprised how charmed I am by the people. I feel like myself again. It’s just me now, and it feels good. I

Eight hours later I am sitting in Rome, tired and slightly lost. I have been traveling for 30 hours and have about four to five more hours to go. I need a shower and a coffee in that order. I sit and wait for the final plane. I think of the family that is about to meet me. Will they all be there? Will she have a sign? What color is the sign?

 It’s late and a handsome young man sits next to me. He has been living in my college town of Towson University for the last year. I think of University and all my friends, I think about “him”, then shake him out of my mind quick and fast, like pulling off a band aid it only hurts for a second. Then I look deep into this hot Italians eyes and decided maybe men should not be entering my brain right now, and a tooth brush should be.

Finally, I land in Palermo’s small airport. It’s 10”30 at night and cute boy helps me find my way and helps me retrieve my bags. The airport is desolate and immigration is no where to be found, I slip into the country unseen and unstamped by foreign affairs…Welcome to Sicily.

We wait and wait for the bags to come around the big black turn belt, I am told that baggage takes forever and things are run differently in the South. My bag arrives and I catch a glimpse of the woman waiting for me through sliding glass doors.  Say "see you later" to cute boy, I am moving on.

I am greeted by a friendly, lovely woman that takes my luggage and puts it into a Benz. We drive and talk and I am astonished at her English ability and she is astonished at my petite size. I like her instantly. The beach house is 30 minutes from the airport, she clicks open a gate from the car, then another private gate on top of the hill. This is one of their many house I am told.

We drive up an open, airy home with a gazebo filled with toys. I see white linen furniture and most of the house is outside. I step out of the car and land in the middle of MTV cribs. Its so beautiful my breath escapees me.  I have dreamt of this place. She shows me to my room, art deco paintings of women line the walls. It’s chic and gorgeous. See you tomorrow and sleep well. I fall asleep almost instantly, to the sound of the ocean and party music in the distance.

 I am awaken by a child’s laugh, that’s him the child I will be teaching English to for the next six months. I then smile to myself, grateful for everything that surrounds me. The postcard landscape, mountains on either side of me, turquoise blue sea, the pictures of naked women on the wall and most importantly my new family and new beginnings. I pop out of bed, my nose toward the sun and stretch, I am full of love and hopefulness.

Its time to move ahead in my relationships and my life. It is time to find a better version of myself. I knew I was always supposed to be here, I dreamt of the ocean and their villa. It is my destiny to spend time with them and for us to fall in love just a little bit.